50 harvard essays part 6 - pdf 21

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Essays are for reference only. Do NOT copy or imitate anything!

himself: “I act like a big brother … to compensate for not being any kind of brother
at all to Robert.” Bright is able to see that there are positive aspects of this bad
experience and then applies them to his life; he shows to us that he is willing to
change himself and make up for what he did not do for Robert by becoming “a much
more involved person.” In his essay, many aspects of Bright shine through: his
maturity and strength, as well as his capacity to see a bright silver lining on what
looks like a black thundercloud. Qualities such as these are ultimately the most
important in terms of measuring who one is.
The only thing that Bright might have added to his essay is more of what happened
to Robert. We learn that Robert was arrested, and is now studying for his SATs and
preparing to go to college, but we are not told what happened to him between his
arrest and his self-improvement. How did Robert decide to turn his life around?
What challenges did he face? The second to last paragraph might need a little more
detail as to how Robert went through the process of becoming who he is today. Yet,
aside from this one minor comment, the essay stands on its own – it jumps out at
the reader for its uniqueness, for its quiet, yet powerful, personal revelations.




“The Line”


“The Line”
--by Daniel B. Visel



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