A translation quality assessment of the Vietnamese version of the nover the notebook by petal Lê (2010) using peter newmark s model

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Luận văn tiếng Anh:A translation quality assessment of the Vietnamese phiên bản of the nover the notebook by petal Lê (2010) using peter newmark's model = Đánh giá chất lượng bản dịch tiếng Việt của tiểu thuyết Nhật ký (2010) do Petal Lê dịch theo mô hình của Peter Newmark.M.A. Thesis Linguistics: 60 22 02 01
M.A. Thesis. English Linguistics -- University of Languages and International Studies. Vietnam National University, Hanoii, 2014
This thesis examines the translation quality assessment of the Vietnamese
version of the novel The Notebook translated by Petal Lê. The Introduction states the
rationale for the study as well as establishes the objectives, scope and methods of the
study.
The main part of the thesis starts with the theoretical background which presents
issues relevant to the study comprising translation, translation methods, translation
equivalence and translation quality assessment. After all the theories have been
introduced, the researcher evaluates the Vietnamese phiên bản of the book using Peter
Newmark‟s model. The five-step model has been followed strictly with the emphasis
on step 3, also known as the heart of the critique.
In the last part of the study, the critic summaries what she has gained after
assessing the translation in order to answer the research questions set in the first part.
Suggestions for further studies are also offered. PART A: INTRODUCTION ........................................................................
1. Rationale for the study..............................................................................
2. Objectives of the study .............................................................................
3. Scope and method of the study.................................................................
3.1. Scope of the study...............................................................................
3.2. Method of the study............................................................................
4. Design of the study ...................................................................................
PART B: DEVELOPMENT .........................................................................
1. Theoretical Background.........................................................................
1.1. Translation Theory..............................................................................
1.1.1. Definition of Translation ..............................................................
1.1.2. Translation Methods .....................................................................
1.1.3. Translation Equivalence ...............................................................
1.1.3.1. Definition................................................................................
1.1.3.2. Types of Equivalence .............................................................
1.2. Translation Quality Assessment .........................................................
1.2.1. Definition......................................................................................
1.2.2. Translation Quality Assessment Models ......................................
1.2.2.1. Juliane House‟s Model ...........................................................
1.2.2.2. Peter Newmark‟s Model .........................................................
2. Evaluation of the Translation basing on Newmark’s Model ..............
2.1. A brief analysis of the source language text ......................................
2.1.1. The author‟s purpose ....................................................................
2.1.2. Characteristic of the readership ....................................................
2.1.3. The topic .......................................................................................
2.2. The translator‟s interpretation ............................................................
2.2.1. Omission of original text ..............................................................
2.2.2. The translator‟s method ................................................................
2.2.3. The translation‟s likely readership................................................
2.3. Comparison of the translation with the original ................................
v 2.3.1. The title ............................................................................................
2.3.2. The structure ....................................................................................
2.3.2.1. Simple sentences vs. Compound sentences ................................
2.3.2.2. Active vs. Passive voice .............................................................
2.3.2.3. Order of clauses ..........................................................................
2.3.2.4. Use of antonym...........................................................................
2.3.2.5. Change of subject .......................................................................
2.3.3. Proper names ....................................................................................
2.3.3.1. People‟s names ..........................................................................
2.3.3.2. Geographical names....................................................................
2.3.3.3. Other names................................................................................
2.3.4. Hierarchical pronouns as a cultural feature ......................................
2.3.5. Borrowed words................................................................................
2.3.6. Puns...................................................................................................
2.3.7. Some minor issues ............................................................................
2.3.7.1. Spelling mistakes ........................................................................
2.3.7.2. Mistranslation .............................................................................
2.3.7.3. Sentences that sound unnatural in the target language ...............
2.4. An evaluation of the translation ............................................................
2.5. Potential importance of the work within the target language culture....
PART C: CONCLUSION .................................................................................
1. Concluding remarks ...................................................................................
2. Suggestions for further studies..................................................................
REFERENCES .................................................................................................. PART A: INTRODUCTION
1. Rationale for the study
As the acclaimed translator Edith Grossman writes in the Preface of her book Why
Translation Matters (2010), translation has a transcendent significance: “Translation not only
plays its important traditional role as the means that allows us access to literature originally
written in one of the countless languages we cannot read, but it also represents a concrete
literary presence with the crucial capacity to ease and make more meaningful our
relationships to those with whom we may not have had a connection before. Translation
always helps us to know, to see from a different angle, to attribute new value to what once
may have been unfamiliar. As nations and as individuals, we have a critical need for that kind
of understanding and insight. The alternative is unthinkable.” Literary translation, on the top
of that, is the one effective way to enhance intercultural understanding. Not every one has the
chance to know well even one foreign language to appreciate a literary work that they so
yearn for. It is translation and translators that fill the gap and open up new worlds for
booklovers to explore.
Globalization and integration have created great opportunity for a huge amount of
foreign literary works to come within reach of Vietnamese readers. While booklovers always
hunger for new literary works to come out, translators, at the same time, have to cope with
enormous workload of translating the originals as fast as possible. This makes translation a
demanding and tough job that requires not only broad cultural background knowledge but also
enthusiasm, professional conscience and scrupulousness. However, every now and then,
owing to objective and subjective reasons, the translated versions still contain mistakes of
various types. There are even translated works that cause translation disasters and spark off
vigorous debates. With thousands of literary translations published every year by hundreds of
publishers in Vietnam, translation quality control seems an impossible task. Besides highly
appreciated and well-received translation works such as Wuthering Heights and Gone with the
Wind by Dương Tường, Harry Porter series by Lý Lan, The Twilight Saga by Tịnh Thủy,
there remain works of poor quality, for example, the Vietnamese phiên bản of Harry Porter and
the Order of the Phoenix by Trần Thắng Minh (Văn hóa – Thông tin Publisher, 2003), The da
Vinci Code by Đỗ Thu Hà (Văn hóa – Thông tin Publisher, 2006), The Elementary Particles
by Cao Việt Dũng (Đà Nẵng Publisher, 2006), The Things They Carried by Trần Tiễn Cao
Đăng (Văn học Publisher, 2011), Seal Team Six by Đoàn Châu Hoài Giang (Alphabooks
Publisher, 2012). These translated versions have received a great deal of criticism since their
publication due to their vocabulary, grammar, style, spelling, typing mistakes that even an Tennyson, Browning, John Wayne, Elayn, Duke, Hannah, Kate, Jane, Jeff, David, Harrison,
Barnwell, Evelyn, Janice, Vanna, Magellan, Columbus, Mozart, Glenn Miller and even the
name of a disease such as Alzheimer, food such as Brunwick stew, a dance such as
Charleston, some brand names such as Budweiser, Cadillac, Dodge appear with the same
spelling in the translated version. However, there is a small remark here. When translating the
full name of Lon, in Lon Hammond Jr., the translator has made it Lon Hammond Con and Lon
Hammond Sr. translated into Lon Hammond Cha while some other translators would have
keep them Junior and Senior as in the original.
2.3.3.2. Geographical names
Newmark (1988:216) suggests that we have to be up to date in your rendering, to check
all terms in the most recent atlas or gazetteer and, where necessary, with the embassies
concerned. We have to respect a country‟s wish to determine its own choice of names for its
own geographical features. We should also distinguish between toponyms as names or items
in an address, when they are transferred, and as cultural scenery in an advertising brochure,
when at least the classifiers such as „river‟, „plain‟, „mountains‟, „church‟, even „street‟ can be
translated.
Basing on the theory, geographical names appearing in the novel are now investigated.
Name of Original phiên bản Translated version
States
North Carolina
New Jersey
Bắc Carolina
New Jersey
Towns
& Cities
Raleigh, New Bern, Piedmont, Chapel
Hill, Norfolk, New York, Paris,
Winston-Salem, Beaufort
Raleigh, New Bern, Piedmont, Chapel
Hill, Norfolk, New York, Paris,
Winston-Salem, Beaufort
Street
Front Street Phố Front (p45, 181)
Phố Trước (p117)
Water
bodies
Brices Creek
Lake Matamuskeet
Neuse River
Rhine
Trent River
Lạch Brices
Hồ Matamuskeet
Sông Neuse
Sông Rhine
Sông Trent
Stores
Hoffman-Lane department store
Hearns Jewelers
Trung tâm bách hóa Hoffman-Lane
(p118)
Cửa hàng Hofman-Lane (p182)
Cửa hàng trang sức Hearns Jewelers Capers General Store
Gaston‟s Drug Store
Cửa hàng Capers General
Hiệu thuốc Gaston
Others
Fort Totten Park
Croatan Forest
Harkers Island
Outer Banks
Ocracoke
Masonic theater
Everglades
Công viên Fort Totten
Rừng Croatan
Đảo Harkers
Bãi Ngoài
Ocracoke
Nhà hát Masonic
Đầm lầy Everglades
In section Name of States, the translator has translated the directional word in the name
of North Carolina state instead of keeping it „North Carolina‟. This translation is common and
acceptable in Vietnamese.
The names of towns and cities are the same in both original and translated versions.
Nevertheless, the name of the street is problematic. „Front Street‟ appears three times in the
novel, yet, in the translated version, it appears under „Phố Front‟ twice and under „Phố Trước‟
once. This is the evidence for the translator‟s inconsistency. Perhaps, he has not translated the
whole novel all on his own?
Water bodies, from creek, lake to rivers are translated in the same way, with the proper
names remain the same, and the words Creek, Lake, River translated.
An examples in section Name of Stores also illustrates the translator‟s discrepancy.
„Hoffman-Lane department store‟ appears twice in the novel, and each time, it has been
translated differently as can be seen in the table. Besides, the second time it is translated, the
translator has misspelled the name of the department store.
Jeweler itself means người bán đồ trang sức in Vietnamese; therefore, it is
recommended that Hearns Jewelers be translated Cửa hàng trang sức Hearns. The same
suggestion is made for Capers General Store to be translated Cửa hàng Tạp hóa Capers.
Other geographical names have been translated quite reasonable and appropriate. The
translator has proven that he has checked the term Everglades and thus, translated it Đầm lầy
Everglades so that the readers can be sure of the place.
In conclusion, though the translation of proper names seems pretty easy, the translator
of this novel has not fully accomplished his job when showing his inconsistency in translating
some items. It is recommended that the translator check the terms carefully to make sure they
are in consistence.
2.3.3.3. Other names Name of Original phiên bản Translated version
Stars
Orion
The Big Dipper
Gemini
The Pole Star
Chòm Thiên Lang
Đại Hùng
Song Tử
Bắc Đẩu
In translating names of the stars, the translator has chosen to transfer all of them to pure
Vietnamese. These names, in other documents or translations, can be seen in their original
spelling. This way of Petal Lê‟s translation, in my opinion, is good for readers to understand.
2.3.4. Hierarchical pronouns as a cultural feature
One typical difference that can be clearly observed between English and Vietnamese is
the personal pronoun system. There are only seven personal pronouns in English which are I,
you, we, they, he, she, it whereas the number of personal pronouns in Vietnamese is much
more various. In this novel, the translator has had to deal with this difference in the way
people call each other when translating it into Vietnamese. The complexity of the Vietnamese
personal pronoun system makes it really hard in order to have accurate translation, otherwise,
misunderstanding is inevitable. The following example shows this.
Original phiên bản Translated version
“Why did you come?” Allie finally
asked.
Her mother raised an eyebrow. “I thought
I would be the one to ask that question.”
Allie paled.
“I came because I had to,” her mother
said, “which I‟m sure is the same reason
you came. Am I right?”
Allie nodded.
Anne turned to Noah. “These last couple
of days must have been full of surprises.”
“Yes,” he answered simply, and she
smiled at him. “I know you don‟t think
so, but I always liked you, Noah. I just
didn‟t think you were right for my
daughter. Can you understand that?”
He shook his head as he answered, his
“Tại sao mẹ lại đến đây?” Allie cuối cùng cũng
hỏi.
Mẹ cô nhướng mày. “Mẹ nghĩ mẹ mới là người
hỏi con câu ấy chứ.”
Allie tái đi.
“Mẹ đến vì mẹ cần đến,” mẹ cô nói, “mẹ
chắc là lý do của con cũng vậy. Mẹ nói đúng
không?”
Allie gật đầu.
Bà Anne quay sang Noah. “Những ngày qua
hẳn là toàn những điều ngạc nhiên.”
“Phải.” Anh trả lời đơn giản, và cô mỉm cười
với anh.
“tui biết cậu không nghĩ vậy, nhưng lúc nào
tui cũng thích cậu, Noah. tui chỉ không nghĩ
rằng cậu thích hợp với con gái tôi. Cậu có hiểu
điều đó không?”


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