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How to Be an Awesome Uncle
by Brett & Kate McKay on November 14, 2012 · 14 comments
in Relationships & Family
Psychologists tell us
that one of the most, if
not the most important
factor in our happiness
is the number of quality
relationships in our lives.
Decades ago, such
relationships were easy
to come by. You were
very likely to be
surrounded by extended
family who all got
together often for loud
and boisterous
celebrations. As you
grew up, you got to
know your cousins, and
your aunts and uncles
as well.
These days, many
families live far apart,
and family reunions are
few and far between —
often non-existent, it

aunt seemed sincerely interested in me. Plus, kids want to play more than talk, so just get down
there and play along with them.
Of fer t o babysit if you live nearby. If you live close to your nieces and nephews, offer to take
the rugrats off their parents’ hands for a couple hours or an entire evening. Your siblings (or
sibling-in-laws) will appreciate it, it gives you a chance to bond with the kiddos, and it’s practice for
when you have kids of your own. Babysitting will be a bit more involved when your nieces and
nephews are actually babies. I offered to watch my sister’s two kids when I was in college — my
niece was four and my nephew was just a few months old. The niece was easy to watch. The
nephew, not so much. I had to change my first diaper during that babysitting experience and he
screamed the entire time his parents were away. I was a litt le shell-shocked, but little did I know
that that two-hour babysitting experience would prepare me for those first days home with Gus
when all he did was scream and poop his diaper.
As the kids get older, watching them becomes less of a hassle and actually enjoyable. Show them
how to do and make neat things, introduce them to your favorite childhood cartoons and movies,
and amaze them with magic tricks (see below).
Bone-up on the jokes, riddles, and magic t ricks you knew as a kid. Will Murray, author of the
Definitive Guide for Becoming the World’s Greatest Aunt or Uncle, says one of the most important
jobs of an uncle is to teach kids how to be children. I think he’s on to something. My favorite uncles
were the ones who went out of their way to teach me all the cool stuff kids are supposed to
know. Many of the silly jokes, riddles, and magic tricks that I know, I picked up from uncles. One
uncle taught me how to make a trumpet noise that I used to annoy my family with; another taught
me how to do t he famous “pull your thumb apart” magic trick; and my cowboy uncle imparted lots
of great jokes t hat I still use today and get laughs from.
Last time I was with my nephew I showed him how to “levitate” and make it sound and appear like
he was breaking his nose. He thought that was pretty awesome. My brother and I passed the time
with both my niece and nephew telling riddles. I even learned some new ones myself.
One of these days we’re going to do a post showcasing how to do a bunch of great uncle tricks.
So if you have one in your repertoire that you think should be included, leave a comment!
Do f un (and slightly dangerous) stuff with them. This bit of advice is related to the above one.
Besides jokes, riddles, and magic tricks, make it your duty to teach your nieces and nephews all the

or baptisms deserve a card. Better yet, try to be there to witness it if you can. As the kids get older,
graduations, college acceptances, first jobs, marriages, and first kids (Congrats! You’re a great-
uncle, a Grunkle!) will deserve recognition as well. Don’t hesitat e to give kudos to your nieces and
nephews for seemingly smaller achievements. My family has a private Facebook group that we use
to keep up with each other. If my sister reports t hat one of her kids did well at a dance recital or
pinewood derby, we send our digital high-five their way.
Bring a small gift whenever you see t hem. I’m terrible about this, but I’m trying to get better
about it. Kids love getting surprises. They don’t have to be anything fancy, either. Something they
can play with straightaway is always a hit. (See the Christmas gift section below for suggestions.) If
there’s a snack that can only be found in your region, pick some up and bring it to the kiddos.
(Uncle Buzz once brought a bag of these special, freshly made, apple cider donuts that you can
only get at t his apple cider mill in VT, on the plane with him to give to us when he came for a visit.
Scored some major uncle points there.) Old fashioned candy always goes over well, too –
especially when it’s bubble gum cigarettes that blow “smoke.” Corporate swag that you have piling
up in your junk drawer can provide lot s of small gifts as well. Little ones are surprisingly impressed
with seemingly banal knickknacks.
Dispense advice when appropriat e. When you’re not teaching them how to shoot a BB gun,
don’t be afraid to offer uncle-y advice to your nieces and nephews. Kids usually don’t see uncles
as just another annoying adult, so they’ll sometimes take your advice more seriously than if it
came from their lame-o parents. If you know your niece or nephew is having trouble with
something in their life, reach out and dispense some friendly suggest ions. You’d be surprised how
much it could help.
Get t hem cool Christ mas presents. And by cool, I don’t mean expensive. Think back to when
you were a kid. Remember the neat , but inexpensive toys and games you loved playing with? Get
your nieces and nephews those. Things they never knew t hey wanted until they started playing
with them.
Here are a few suggestions:
Spy reflector sunglasses
Horseshoe puzzle (I got one of these from an uncle one year and loved showing of f to the
kids at school how I could solve it)

In their tween and teen years, let a niece or nephew that you really like stay with you for a week
away from their parents. Once they’re college age, make an eff ort to keep in touch. My uncles and
aunts check in with me on Facebook. Kate’s Uncle Buzz has kept the uncle/niece relationship
going by writing her real letters and sending her a good book he’s read.
Something that I appreciate about Buzz’s uncle-dom is that once Kate and I married, he really
incorporated me into the family. He shoots me emails and sends me interesting manly knickknacks
that he’s found at garage sales in VT.
Be a good example. Your nieces and nephews probably think you’re one of the coolest dudes
alive. Whether you like it or not, they’re looking up to you. Do your best to provide a positive male
role model for them. Show them how a good man behaves and comports himself. Don’t do
anything that would let them down. As uncles, we have great power in the molding of our nieces
and nephews, but as Spiderman’s wise Uncle Ben noted, “With great power, comes great
responsibility.” Use your uncle power for good.
What are your tips on being an awesome uncle? Have any uncle memories? Share them with
us in the comments!
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