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Copyright © 2013 by Kimberly Mathews.
All rights reserved worldwide. No part of this publication may be replicated, redistributed, or given away in any
form (That's bad karma) without the prior written consent of the author/publisher.
Disclaimer
This eBook is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for any professional advice
provided by your physician, therapist, psychiatrist or any other related professions.
Authors Note
The idea behind this eBook, is to provide you with clear, easy to use techniques and strategies, that you can
implement straight away. My goal, was not to make it complicated or over analyze everything, but to keep it simple
and to the point.

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Table of Contents
Introduction
10 Difficult Types Of People Explained
The Intimidator
The Stealth Bomber
The Oscar Goes To Person
The Bombastic Blowhard
The Politician
The Yes People
The Fake It Till You Make It Person
The Silent Sleeper
The It Will Never Work Person
The Complainer
What Makes Some People Difficult?
Mastering Communication
Be A Great Listener
Developing Your Inner Power
The Art To Influencing Difficult People

 The Politician
 The Bombastic Blowhard
 The Fake It Till You Make It Person

These types of people can come from all walks of life, as neighbors, co-workers, and friends. They can
intimidate and belittle you you would prefer not working with them or even talking to them. But, if you can
begin to understand them and implement some basic strategies, you stand a good chance of getting what you want
done.

No longer do you have to feel like you're being attacked, cornered or manipulated while your frustration builds
up. A tactic you might have used in the past, is to walk away. Sometimes, that really is the only thing you can do
when you try to be reasonable and nothing gets through to the difficult person.

But, a lot of times there are tactics you can use that will work well. This eBook will discuss the difficult
personality types mentioned above, as well as several others. It will give you explanations for their behavior so that
you can understand why they act the way they do. You will be able to see them in a different light.

Armed with this understanding and some strategies, you'll be in a much better position to take charge in these
situations and become the master of your emotions once and for all.

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10 Difficult Types Of People Explained

Blowhards, loud-mouths, whiners, and pessimists - they can be hard to work with and almost impossible to live
with. Here are ten of the most common difficult types of people.

Remember when reading through this list that people tend to revert to these types of behavior when they are
feeling threatened, frustrated or angry. In fact, all of us at some stage in our lives have resorted to at least one of
these behaviors.


This is the person who always has the answer to a problem, without knowing what the problem is. He seeks
advice when he's stumped, BUT never agrees when it's given. He hates being corrected and when things do go
wrong, he knows who to blame You

The Politician

We all know someone like this. He's the person who won't give you a straight answer, no matter how serious
the situation. It's a pain trying to meet project deadlines with him, and you wouldn't even have a yard sale with him,
because he won't make a definite decision on anything.
The Yes People

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These are some of the nicest people around (OK what's wrong with being nice I hear you say) But these
people can be so infuriating. They always offer to do favors for other people and want to make sure that everyone's
happy In fact, they'll do almost anything to avoid confrontations and uncomfortable situations.

However, when it comes to delivering on the things they said they would, all the excuses from under the sun
magically appear. They bite off more than they can chew when promising results and get deeply offended when you
resent them for it.

The Fake It Till You Make It Person

These are the type of people that enjoy taking charge at meetings and parties. They always think that they are
the expert on any topic and their self-confidence is so overwhelming that it takes a real expert to understand that
they're actually fakes.

The main goal of this person, is to get attention and they usually succeed by fooling everyone around them.

The Silent Sleeper



Difficult people can quickly move from one type of intent to another, depending on their desires at that
particular point in time.

You can usually tell where a person is coming from by the way they communicate. People who are in the ' get it
done' frame of mind are fully focused on getting the job done and their communication style is concise and to the
point.

People tuned in to the 'get it right' mode, concentrate on the nitty gritty stuff, documenting the process as a
confirmation that the job has been performed successfully.

Those who are in the 'get along' mode, focus on their dealings with others as well as their emotions and
opinions. The 'get appreciated' intent induces a person to adopt a very elaborate style, with the sole aim of drawing
attention to themselves.

People having the same communication style can get on with each other and work together towards common
goals. However, when people with different intent and communication styles have to work together, several issues
can crop up.

In a scenario where people are trying hard to 'get it done' but are not able to achieve the desired results, they
tend to become more controlling. (The Intimidator), (The Stealth Bomber), and (The Bombastic Blowhard) all
become more controlling when they are faced with adversity.

The people who are trying to 'get it right' and instead find that things are going wrong, tend to focus more on
being perfectionists. (The Silent Sleeper), (The It Will Never Work Person), and (The Complainer) all begin to
pursue perfection when things are erroneously done.

People wanting to 'get along' but feel they are being sidelined, become approval seekers. (The Politician and
The Yes People) will make even greater efforts to seek approval, when they feel they're being ignored or rejected.


and what they have to say, which will result in their belief of your intellect and wit. If you listen to them, you must be
smart!
When you listen, you have the power, namely when dealing with difficult people. Everyone wants you to know
what position they hold on any given topic. Listening allows us to learn what their needs are, but when you are
dealing with difficult people, they will put you in an uncomfortable situation, and as a result, you may tune them out.
By listening, you can learn about what others want; even early on, during the days of Freud, it was believed that if
you allowed others to talk, they would tell you exactly what was on their mind. The opposite also rings true, so if
you don't want others to know what you are thinking, don't speak too much.
When you listen, the focus isn't on you, so if you are self-conscious, this also takes some pressure off of you.
To be a great listener, these are some techniques to consider:
1. Look at the individual who is speaking, as it shows all the focus is on them, and that you are completely tuned in
to what they have to say.
2. Nod your head, smile if appropriate, and show you have an interest in what the other person is saying when they
are speaking to you; if something is asked, comment on the topic.
3. Leaning in is a way to show you are interested in what the speaker has to say.
4. Asking questions clearly indicates you are listening to the speaker.
5. Ask for more information, and don't interrupt, by drawing out the speaker, you will make them feel you are truly
interested.
6. Sticking to the topic they introduced is another way to show that you are interested in the conversation, and in
what the speaker has to say about that topic.
7. Get your point across by using the words the speaker is using. You not only show you are listening to them, it is
also a great way to get them to agree with you on the topic that you are discussing with them.

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Developing Your Inner Power

Personal power doesn't refer to intimidation or force, but the power to validate one another, and satisfy one
anothers ego, by accepting, approving, and appreciating each other. This power, when used properly, can open the
doors to all things that we desire.
This chapter focuses on personal power. Most of us don't understand the personal power we have over ourselves

from.

The lack of satisfaction is what creates the troublesome nature of many difficult people; if we learn and
remember a few truths about ourselves, and people in general, it will help in building better relationships with people
we encounter along the way. You have to remember:

1. Everyone cares about themselves more than anyone else in the world, it is not a bad thing it's how we
survive.

2. Everyone wants to feel significant.

3. Everyone is seeking out the approval of others and this makes it easier for people to finally approve of
themselves.

Before being kind to others, we need to appreciate and respect ourselves to some extent, before we can
appreciate and like others. By remembering this we will also see why people act in a certain manner, as do we in
certain situations.

When someone's self esteem is high, they are easy to be around. They are easy to talk to, they listen to others,
and they can accept the fact that their opinions might sometimes be wrong.

When self esteem is low, people are hard to be around. They may come off as a bully and every remark you
make seems like a blow to their ego, and they have a difficult time accepting the fact that people can't agree with
them.

The point is, that learning to deal with difficult people, is seeing that they have a hard time with themselves, and
low self esteem. Everyone, even the negative people, have great qualities; you need to help point these out, so they
can see them, in a meaningful manner, without seeming as if you are patronizing them.

By showing the person you see the good in them, and respect them, they will be easier to deal with, now as

attacking - Now you have his attention. Make it clear, that you understand his concerns and answer him with a
clear and short explanation.

And finally, let the Intimidator know you are open to speaking with him, when and only, he can talk to you with
respect.

The Stealth Bomber

These individuals attack when they feel threatened or that they have been left out, and will attack out of envy. In
many cases they do it behind your back, so you don't notice it; but if you do, here is how you can handle it.

Your Approach:

Not all ambushes are the same. The ambush could be cracking a joke to get a laugh, at someone else's expense
or just trying to get attention; either way, it would be a mistake to hit back or retreat. The best reaction is to have
no reaction; if you don't react, then the attacker will get no joy out of the attack; so, don't get angry and don't show
you feel threatened in any way.

If you hear rumors about you, approach the person who began it and ask "What exactly did you mean by the
comments you made?" or something of a similar nature. If it happens during a presentation, do the same thing by
asking how their comments pertain to the presentation. You want to be firm and resolved when you make these
comments.

Here the stealth bomber will either stop, react, or become aggressive. If they stop, then you have gotten your
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point across. If they continue sniping, continue asking the point of their comments, and it should eventually stop. If
the person becomes aggressive, you might have to handle them in a similar manner as you would the Intimidator.

You have to hold your ground and show you are serious, you might also ask to meet at a private location to
discuss the problems at a later time.

Use statements like "what do you think", or "maybe", so you show the person you are not shooting down their
ideas or challenging them, but merely presenting a few new ideas. It will take patience on your behalf, but over time
they will listen, and will learn to accept the new ideas that you pose to them in future discussions.

If you manage to turn the bombastic blowhard into a mentor, it can be a win-win situation for both of you.

The Politician

People who are decisive, make decisions quickly and stand by it; those who are indecisive, the politician, will
struggle with a position until they find one they believe will please everyone. In the long run, their decisions will fail
since they took so long to make it.

If you are in charge of a project or working with the politician, you may become frustrated and impatient, but
this natural reaction will only backfire. The politician will still doubt you and continue to make excuses.

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Your Approach:

You have to be calm with this individual, and approach them with concise ideas. Doing this will help open up
their mind, and let them make decisions quickly. It will also help them become more resolved, and he'll be in a
better mood to go the extra mile. Show him a list of pros and cons of decision making, and discuss with him that
their decisions are good, but no decision is ever going to be perfect for every single person in the organization.

Let them know you will be accepting of future decisions that they make; if you show a little bit of patience, the
politician can actually turn out to be a great decision maker.

The Yes People

For the most part, yes people are sincere when they agree to do something. But, if you are on the receiving
end, and have ever been let down by such a person, it may seem hard for you to believe you are going to get any

be included in the document that they are signing. It is also important to make the person aware of any negative
consequences that will ensue, if they do not complete the project by the required deadline, as they will be even
more inclined to do the job right, and to complete it by the due date.

The Fake It Till You Make It Person

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These people want to be appreciated. They crave attention and can be very dogmatic. This is the type of
person that is clever and cunning enough to be dangerous.

When you listen to these types of people, the impression you get, is that he knows what he's talking about, he
genuinely believes himself, that he knows what he's talking about. However, when it's time to walk the talk, this
person quickly loses his charm.

People, become less inclined to listen to him and the more they ignore him, the more he craves attention. It's
easy to get angry at this type of difficult person with his exaggerations and lies, but this reaction will get you
nowhere with him. He will only double down on his lies and proclaim them even more loudly than before.

Your Approach:

Your best approach is to catch him when he's giving out misinformation and, without putting him on the
defensive, put a stop to it. Ask him to elaborate a bit more on specifics, this will call his bluff and show that he
doesn't know what he is talking about. Remember to ask in an innocent manner, since if he feels humiliated, your
approach will backfire.

Your next step is to correct what this difficult person said with the facts as you know them. At this point offer
him a way out by saying something like, "This information is fairly new and maybe you haven't seen the updated
memo yet" if there's something you can thank him for, you should do it.

Finally, let him know that his behavior creates negative outcomes for everyone involved. At the same time keep

And lastly, show them what their silence is costing in terms of time wasted and lack of input from them. When
the silent sleeper eventually begins to talk, make sure to listen.

The It Will Never Work Person

This difficult person is usually a perfectionists. They have high standards for what should be done, when it
should be done, how it should be done and who should do it; which rarely measures up in the real world. So, this
difficult person believes everything will go wrong, now and in the future.

The main problem with these difficult people is the negativity they bring, it affects everyone around them. He
may not intentionally be trying to spoil things for everyone; but he sincerely believes things are as hopeless as he
thinks they are.

Your Approach:

Your goal when working with this type of person, is to steer him away from finding faults to finding solutions.
Mr pessimist will always identify the flaws first, and you may feel tempted to tell him, that life is not as bad as he
thinks it is. But that would be a bad idea.

Studies have shown, that when you try to make this person more positive, you only end up becoming more
negative yourself. He will drag you down. One way to look at this person, is to see him as an early warning signal
of trouble.

As for dealing with his negativity, you can try one of two tactics: bring up the negatives before he does or agree
with him about the hopelessness of the situation.

Tell him that he doesn't have a chance of selling this product - he might surprise you, and give it a try.
Appreciate this difficult person for having such high standards and good intentions and for his willingness to speak
up about details he's concerned with.



Each time you engage with the person, keep a mental picture of how it went, and if necessary change your
approach.

Your confidence will grow each time you implement these techniques. You'll get better at it, and probably find
that the difficult person will respond more positively towards you. Obviously, it's not your first choice to have to
resort to these tactics. But, if you want to improve your relationship with such people, you don't really have a
choice.

Kimberly Mathews

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