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How to Network & Socialize Effectively: A
Comprehensive Guide
by Antonio on November 15, 2012 · 6 comments
in Money & Career
This post is brought to you by Chivas
Brotherhood What’s this?
Last month I was invited to attend a whisky-
tasting event in Chicago hosted by Chivas
Regal. As part of their Chivas Brotherhood,
they have an 1801 Club in which members get
access to exclusive, invite-only events at
private venues in major US cities. I had the
privilege of checking one out and hob
knobbing with a bunch of folks I had never
met before.
Now, despite the fact I write about style and
own a custom clothier, I rarely go out and
socialize. Being a father of three young
children and living in a small Wisconsin
town…well, it just doesn’t happen.
To put it bluntly – I really had t o prepare
for this!
This article is based off my experience and
lays out the steps I took to ensure my time spent out on the town was worthwhile.
Here’s the scenario: You’re in a large city, heading to an upscale evening social event. You’re
attending the event alone, and you know no one prior to arriving. There is alcohol being served,
yet you will be speaking with people about business opportunities.
This is my advice on how to prepare for a night of networking and socializing, and how to make
the most of this opportunity. In order to bring all the information together in one place, and create

flexibility in case the night takes an unexpected turn. It’s good to have as many resources on hand
as possible:
Cars: If you have your own car, that takes care of most of the thinking most of the time.
You need to know where you can park it, and for how long, but as long as you can sort that
out you’re pretty well taken care of. Just watch how much you drink!
Cabs: No matter how you’re getting there (even if you’re driving), it’s never a bad idea to
have the number of a local, licensed cab company written down in your wallet or programmed
into your phone. Pick one that dispatches 24/7 so that you always have an emergency
option.
Public transit : Often the cheapest way of getting around a city, it’s also the trickiest for
non-natives. Look up the route information online, rather than relying on brochures or bus
stop postings — those tend to be outdated and may not list the correct times. Be aware that
most routes do not run 24/7, and those that do usually run less frequently late at night.
Walking: It’s severely underrated, but often the easiest way to get around a city, so long
as you’re not going too far. Just have a good sense of safety and don’t walk anywhere too
deserted or dicey-looking at night, especially if you’re well-dressed.
A little preparation goes a long way here, and smartphones make it even easier (as long as you
can get service). Be sure to have both the city’s public transit schedule or map and the number of a
cab company at bare minimum. It’s rare that you won’t be able to get yourself around using those
in a pinch.
3. Know the Environment
Both the physical and the social environment are important here. Both help determine how you’ll
dress and how you’ll travel.
In New York, wearing a stylish suit and taking the subway makes total sense. In Denver the suit is
overkill and you can probably walk everywhere, at least downtown. In Los Angeles, you won’t wear
a tie, and you’ll probably have to drive. And so on.
There are three basic factors to consider when traveling to a new city:
Weat her: This determines what you’ll pack in terms of outwear, rain protection, and so on.
Don’t show up to Seattle without an umbrella, and don’t show up to Houston with one!
Culture: This can be hard to judge, but in general, large cities (and the East Coast as a

the other people there, and plan on
saying it. For a refresher on networking
in general – make sure to visit this
classic Art of Manliness article.
2. Carry Business Cards — Plent y of
Them
Bring more than you think you’ll need.
The only thing worse than not having a
card at all is saying, “Here, let me give
you my card,” and then coming up
empty-handed.
Most men’s wallets can only accommodate five or ten spare business cards before the pockets
start to get a little stretched, so don’t be shy about keeping an extra stack in an inside jacket
pocket. Or, slip them in a small, silver card case or cigarette case, giving you a small, classy touch
every time you reach for a card.
Have a business card that suits your professional needs:
Always include your personal name, even on a company card.
Have your personal number on the card, not a general phone line.
Spring for heavy stock — the cheapest cards are recognizable as such.
Avoid extensive graphic designs. Keep it simple.
Of course, men in specific industries may need something fancier — if you’re a graphic designer,
you may want to use a card you’ve designed as an example of your work. Just be aware that it’s
easy to cross the line from “unique” into “novelty,” and that the latter isn’t impressive.
No need for business cards? Consider calling cards instead.
3. Carry a Pen. In Fact, Carry Two.
Asking to borrow a pen is automatically unprofessional. Carry two, either in the inside breast
pocket of a jacket if you’re wearing one, or in the side pocket of your trousers. Go ahead and slip
them all the way in, especially if you’re keeping them in an outer pocket — the clips on the side of
the cap shouldn’t be visible outside your pocket.
It’s not necessary to spring for a $100 fountain pen (though if you have something like a

It’s more a matter of avoiding obvious mistakes than doing any extra steps:
Wear clean clothes that match well — no clashing colors, wrinkles, or stains.
Shine shoes and press shirts ahead of time for a crisper look.
The whisky-tasting event I attended had master barber
Charles Lennox of Haberdash Men on location giving
demonstrations!
Get a trim if you haven’t had a haircut recently.
Trim your nails and wash your face before going out.
Add a bit of cologne if you like, but keep it light and mild-scented.
Add a pocket square if you wear a jacket.
Wear a dress watch (leather or metal band; metal case).
Shower a few hours ahead of time, with enough time for your hair to dry.
These are minor details that make a
major difference. Putting them all
together is what gives you the sharp-
edged, clean-cut look that a lot of
men lack in their day-to-day lives. It’s a
way of looking good that doesn’t
show off or try too hard, and gives
you the air of casual competence and
confidence you need to network well.
2. Dress Appropriately f or the
Occasion
Most evening social events aren’t
officially business affairs, even if
business is being done at them. That
usually means you’re wearing
something more casual than a business suit, and most people also observe the “no ties after 5:00
PM” guideline unless they’re going somewhere very fancy.
If that sounds a little open-ended and hard to dress for, that’s because it can be. The best outfit

look like a positive addition to the room
— someone whose presence is making
other people’s lives better. For a basic
etiquette reminder – visit this classic
AOM article.
You can easily achieve this by simply
being helpful and reaching out to
others. Smile, be polite, and offer help where it’s needed, especially in small gestures and motions:
Help to hold doors and pull chairs out for others.
Offer your seat if someone needs it.
Help to make room at a crowded bar, or to order for someone if needed.
Always offer a firm handshake when meeting someone.
Make eye contact.
Avoid having more than a few drinks — it’s more noticeable than you think!
Offer a lift if you have a car and someone needs one (within reason).
By being helpful and polite as you circulate, you aren’t just making a good impression on the
people you’re speaking to, you’re also making a visible impression on the rest of the room. That
helps set up the expectation that everyone will enjoy your company — and make everyone more
likely to automatically smile when you reach them.
How to Circulate: The Art of Small Talk
“Diplomacy is merely the
extension of war by other
means,” and small talk is
often just business in a
more relaxed set of
clothes. Expect to do a bit
of work even when you’re
mingling.
1. Arrive Early
This will make the mingling

3. Learn Names — And Use Them
One of the best impressions you can make on someone is to use their name. We don’t necessarily
realize how rarely people do it, but in most social settings people use eye contact and body
language to indicate who they’re talking to, rather than referring to people by name.
Using someone’s name gives you a more personal connection and prompts them to pay attention
to what you’re saying — and, more fundamentally, it shows that you’ve bothered to learn their
name in the first place.
Not all of us are blessed with perfect memories, so if you struggle with names adopt a strategy to
help you remember:
Use it or lose it. As soon as you’ve been introduced, try to use the person’s name. That
helps make an immediate association that lasts longer than just hearing it.
Memory by associat ion. This is an old mnemonic trick with lots of variations. When you
learn the name, say it aloud, and associate it internally with some other fact that starts with
the same letter. It’s particularly helpful if you can use something you know about the person:
“Nick from Northwestern,” or “Allison who works in Accounting,” and so on.
When in doubt, take notes. You need a bit of subtlety to pull it off, but if it’s really
important that you remember someone’s name, find an excuse to write it down. You can
note it on one of your own business cards and tuck it in a pocket separate from the rest —
just be sure not to accidentally give it to someone. Alternatively, ask if they have a card
themselves. That gives you both the name and a unique graphic to remind you whose it is.
You become particularly impressive when you’ve met someone, moved away from them, circulated
for a while, and then come back and immediately greet them by name. Most people at any given
event can’t do that, so you’re sure to stand out for it. For more strategies on remembering names
– visit this classic AOM article.
Follow-Up: After the Event
The day after the event is the time to follow up on any contacts you’ve made. Resist the urge to
send any sort of follow-up the same night — that can seem either overeager or pushy, or both.
Give it until mid-morning the next day.
There are a few follow-ups you should always send:
A note to the host, if relevant. Not all social gatherings have a specific host, but if there is