VIETNAM NATIONAL UNIVERSITY, HANOI
UNIVERSITY OF LANGUAGES AND INTERNATIONAL STUDIES
FACULTY OF POST-GRADUATE STUDIES
 BÙI THỊ MAI ANH
A TRANSLATION QUALITY ASSESSMENT OF THE
VIETNAMESE VERSION OF THE NOVEL THE NOTEBOOK
BY PETAL LÊ (2010) USING PETER NEWMARK’S MODEL (Đánh giá chất lượng bản dịch tiếng Việt của tiểu thuyết Nhật ký (2010) do
Petal Lê dịch theo mô hình của Peter Newmark) M.A. MINOR THESIS Field: English Linguistics
Code: 60.22.02.01

HANOI, 2014


DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP I hereby state that the thesis entitled “A translation quality assessment of the
Vietnamese version of the novel The Notebook by Petal Lê (2010) using Peter
Newmark’s model” is the result of my research for the Degree of Master of Arts at
University of Languages and International Studies, Vietnam National University,
Hanoi, and the thesis has not been submitted for any degree at any other university or
tertiary institution. Hanoi, 2014

Student
Bùi Thị Mai Anh

equivalence and translation quality assessment. After all the theories have been
introduced, the researcher evaluates the Vietnamese version of the book using Peter
Newmark‟s model. The five-step model has been followed strictly with the emphasis
on step 3, also known as the heart of the critique.
In the last part of the study, the critic summaries what she has gained after
assessing the translation in order to answer the research questions set in the first part.
Suggestions for further studies are also offered.
iii

ABBREVIATIONS SL: Source Language
TL: Target Language
ST: Source Text
TT: Target Text
iv

TABLE OF CONTENTS
DECLARATION OF AUTHORSHIP i
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ii
ABSTRACT iii
ABBREVIATIONS iv
PART A: INTRODUCTION 1
1. Rationale for the study 1
2. Objectives of the study 2
3. Scope and method of the study 2
3.1. Scope of the study 2
3.2. Method of the study 2
4. Design of the study 3

2.3.2.4. Use of antonym 24
2.3.2.5. Change of subject 24
2.3.3. Proper names 25
2.3.3.1. People‟s names 25
2.3.3.2. Geographical names 26
2.3.3.3. Other names 27
2.3.4. Hierarchical pronouns as a cultural feature 28
2.3.5. Borrowed words 29
2.3.6. Puns 31
2.3.7. Some minor issues 32
2.3.7.1. Spelling mistakes 32
2.3.7.2. Mistranslation 32
2.3.7.3. Sentences that sound unnatural in the target language 34
2.4. An evaluation of the translation 35
2.5. Potential importance of the work within the target language culture 36
PART C: CONCLUSION 38
1. Concluding remarks 38
2. Suggestions for further studies 39
REFERENCES 40
vi

PART A: INTRODUCTION
1. Rationale for the study
As the acclaimed translator Edith Grossman writes in the Preface of her book Why
Translation Matters (2010), translation has a transcendent significance: “Translation not only
plays its important traditional role as the means that allows us access to literature originally
written in one of the countless languages we cannot read, but it also represents a concrete
literary presence with the crucial capacity to ease and make more meaningful our
relationships to those with whom we may not have had a connection before. Translation
always helps us to know, to see from a different angle, to attribute new value to what once

notable linguists in the world such as Juliane House and Peter Newmark.
Since the limitation of a minor thesis, Juliane House‟s model and Peter Newmark‟s
model will be introduced and Newmark‟s will be selected as the main means to evaluate the
Vietnamese version of The Notebook by Petal Lê to reveal the good points and bad points of
the translated texts with regards to the original. In addition, the author would like to look into
the outstanding equivalence types the translator has achieved in translating this popular
literary work so that other translators can get some experience from him.
2. Objectives of the study
The study covers the following aims:
 To assess the translation quality of the translated version of the novel The Notebook
in terms of the aspects discovered from theories raised by different scholars
including Juliane House and Peter Newmark with Newmark‟s model as the main
criteria
 To suggest some implications for the translation of literary works
To successfully achieve the above aims, the thesis seeks to answer the two research
questions:
 How good is the Vietnamese version of The Notebook according to Newmark‟s
model?
 What recommendations can be made from the translated version?
3. Scope and method of the study
3.1. Scope of the study
The work of fiction The Notebook consists of twelve chapters in total. Since this is a
story of logical coherence and requires complete penetration, the researcher finds it is a good
idea to evaluate the translation text on a general basis. However, due to limitation of time for
this study, certain emphasis on highlights of this fiction will be presented.
3.2. Method of the study
Since this is the study to evaluate the translated version of The Notebook by Petal Lê, a
theoretical insight into some different translation quality assessment models by different
linguists is necessary. Peter Newmark‟s model, for its advantages in terms of applications,
will be used as the major criteria for evaluating the Vietnamese version of the novel.

author Nicholas Sparks.
Part III: Conclusion
The final part is the discussion of the results of this study. It concludes the strengths and
weaknesses of the translator basing on the application of the model. Suggestions and
implications for other translators are also offered, especially in the field of literary works.
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PART B: DEVELOPMENT
1. Theoretical Background
1.1. Translation Theory
1.1.1. Definition of Translation
The term translation itself has several meanings: it can refer to the general subject field,
the product (the text that has been translated) or the process (the act of producing the
translation, otherwise known as translating). The process of translation between two
different written languages involves the translator changing an original written text (the
source text or ST) in the original verbal language (the source language or SL) into a written
text (the target text or TT) in a different verbal language (the target language or TL).
There are some definitions of translation. In Approaches to Translation, Newmark
(1982:7) states “Translation is a craft consisting in the attempt to replace a written message
and/or statement in one language by the same message and/or statement in another language.”
According to Bell, R.T (1991:5), “Translation is the expression in another language (or TL) of
what has been expressed in another, SL, preserving semantic and stylistic equivalences.”
Translation is the procedure which leads from a written SL text to an optimally
equivalent TL text, and which requires the syntactic, semantic, stylistic and text pragmatic
comprehension by the translator of the original text. (Wilss, 1982:112)
Translation is the replacement of a representation of a text in one language by a
representation of another equivalent in a second language. (Hartman & Stock, 1972)
Translation consists in reproducing in the receptor language the closest natural
equivalent of the source language message, first in terms of meaning and secondly in terms
of style. (Nida & Taber, 1974:12)

do not exist in the original.
Free translation: Free translation reproduces the matter without the manner, or the
content without the form of the original. Usually it is a paraphrase much longer than the
original, a so-called „intra-lingual translation‟, often prolix and pretentious, and not translation
at all.
Adaptation: This is the „freest‟ form of translation. It is used mainly for plays and
poetry; the themes, characters, plots are usually preserved, the SL culture converted to the TL
culture and the text rewritten. (1988: 45-47)
1.1.3. Translation Equivalence
1.1.3.1. Definition
From the definitions of translation by different scholars, it is clear that equivalence is
the central issue in Translation Studies.
Andrew Chesterman, in Readings in Translation Theories (p100), describes that there
are “various categories of equivalence that have been proposed in the literature of translation
theory: content equivalence (often also: content invariance), stylistic equivalence, formal
equivalence, functional equivalence, textural equivalence, communicative equivalence,
pragmatic equivalence.” From the view point of Juliane House (1977:25), meaning
5

equivalence is the most essential in translation: “The essence of translation lies in the
preservation of meaning across two different languages.”
“SL and TL texts or items are translation equivalents when they are interchangeable in a
given situation,” (Catford, 1965:49)
Newmark (1995:48) states that “The overriding purpose of any translation should be to
achieve equivalent effect, i.e. to produce the same effect (or one as close as possible) on the
readership of the translation as was obtained on the readership of the original.” In this
statement, Newmark emphasizes the importance of functional equivalence as “the overriding
purpose of any translation.”
Koller cited in Readings in Translation Theory (Chesterman, A., 1989) views
equivalence in term of the maintenance of the SL and TT quality. According to him (1979),

denotative value and is achieved by the translator‟s choice of synonymous words or
expressions.
• Text-normative equivalence: The SL and the TL words are used in the same or similar
context in their respective languages.
• Pragmatic equivalence: With readership orientation, the SL and TL words have the
same effect on their respective readers.
• Formal equivalence: This type of equivalence produces an analogy of form in the
translation by their exploiting formal possibilities of TL, or creating new forms in TL.
1.1.3.2.3. Function-based Equivalence
Nida (1974) distinguishes formal equivalence and dynamic translation as basic
orientations rather than as a binary choice:
• Formal equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the closest possible
match of form and content.
• Dynamic equivalence is achieved when the SL and TL words have the same effect on
their effective readers.
1.1.3.2.4. Quantitative Equivalence
On the word level, Hann (1992, in Baker, 2005:78) classifies equivalence relationships
into:
• One-to-one equivalence: A single expression in TL is equivalent to a single expression
in SL.
• One-to-many equivalence: More than one TL expressions are equivalent to a single SL
expression.
• Many-to-one equivalence: there is more than one expression in the source language
but there is a single expression in target language which is equivalence to them.
• One-to-part-of-one equivalence: A TL expression covers part of a concept designated
by a single SL expression.
• Nil equivalence: no TL expression is equivalent to a single SL expression, therefore,
loaned/borrowed equivalents should be used.
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basis of the equivalence relation – the conceptual heart of translation. Since appropriate use of
language in communicative performance is what matters most in translation, it is functional
pragmatic equivalence which is crucial. This type of equivalence underpins this functional
8

translation model. The model explicates the way semantic, pragmatic and textual meaning are
re-constituted across different contexts.
– Translation is conceived as the replacement of an L1 text by a semantically and
pragmatically equivalent L2 text. An adequate translation is then a pragmatically and
semantically equivalent one.
– A first requirement for this equivalence is that a translation text has a function
equivalent to that of its original.
– The function of a text – with its ideational and interpersonal components – is simply
the application of a text in a particular context, and there is a systematic relationship between
context and the functional organization of language-in-text, which can be revealed by
breaking down context into a manageable set of „contextual parameters‟. To grasp a text‟s
meaning, it must be referred to the particular „context of situation‟ which envelops it.
Such a view of function and context-text underlies the analytic framework of the model.
According to Lê Hùng Tiến (2006), the model of translation quality assessment has a
clear linguistically theoretical base and concrete, detailed steps. However, this model also
requires linguistic knowledge and high professional skills of the critics and the criticism
mainly aims at researching languages and translation. Therefore, this model has not been
applied widely and just at experimental level in Translation Studies.
1.2.2.2. Peter Newmark’s Model
Peter Newmark made an attempt in 1988 to propound a theory of translation pedagogy
revolving around the notion of text. His theory is aimed at trainee students, and so his book,
entitled a textbook, has actually been chosen in many translation-teaching contexts. His model
of translation based on Nida and Taber‟s model. Newmark starts explaining his theory from
the question: what is translation? He suggests that it is often, but not always, rendering the
meaning of a text into another language in the way that the author intended the text. This

writer
2. SL
norms
3. SL
culture
4. SL setting &
tradition
10.
Translator
8. TL setting &
tradition
7. TL culture
6. TL
norms
5. TL
readership
9. The
truth
TEXT
10

making processes carry the misleading underlying message of ideal, one-to-one and perfect
matches between languages.
His theory is also based on an unrealistic three-level activity process, by which
translators receive, analyze the SL text and then transfer it into the TL. However, professional
translators and scholars alike have demonstrated that translators do not first receive and
analyze an SL text and then transfer it into the TL, but that the process of reception and
analysis operate according to the purpose of translation. Thus, the translator does not receive
and analyze the SL in a neutral way, but with a view to translating it for a certain purpose.
The eclectic approach proposes a five-step learning process of translation to help students

2.1. A brief analysis of the source language text
Newmark in his textbook states that “In your analysis of the SL text, you may include a
statement of the author‟s purpose, that is, the attitude he takes towards the topic;
characterization of the readership; an indication of its category and type. You assess the
quality of the language to determine the translator‟s degree of license, assuming for example
that he can reduce cliché to natural language in informative but not in authoritative texts. You
briefly state the topic or themes, but do not précis the text and do not „plot-monger‟ (painfully
retell the plot)” (1988:186). From this theory, the researcher will give a brief analysis of
statement of the author‟s purpose, characterization of the readership, and the topic of the
chosen literary work.
2.1.1. The author’s purpose
Review from the largest and most popular online retailer Amazon.com indicates that
Nicholas Sparks is one of the world‟s most beloved storytellers. All of his books have been
New York Times bestsellers, with nearly 80 million copies in print worldwide, in over 45
languages, including over 50 million copies in the United States alone, and his popularity
continues to soar. For this novel in particular, the author himself revealed, “The Notebook was
originally inspired by the story of my wife‟s grandparents. They had a rare and beautiful
relationship, one that withstood the test of time and circumstance. When I first met them, they
had been married over sixty years, and I remember marveling at how much they still seemed
to care for each other. The Notebook attempts to portray such a love. That said, The Notebook
is a novel, not a memoir. Many changes were made regarding their story, in order to make the
novel more universal, while staying committed to my original intent.”
2.1.2. Characteristic of the readership
The readership can be of large population. Any educated readers who like reading
books, especially love stories and romance, would certainly be interested in reading this
bestseller novel of The New York Times. The author of the novel has been so popular that
people who have already read his other novels would not miss the chance to read such a
classic story of love depicted in The Notebook. These readers may possess a great passion for
books, for understanding western culture, for enriching their own knowledge and souls.
2.1.3. The topic

3.
In my mind it‟s a little bit of both, and no
matter how you choose to view it in the
end, it does not change the fact that it
involves a great deal of my life and the
path I‟ve chosen to follow.
Trong tâm trí tôi, nó có chút gì đó của cả
hai, và dù cuối cùng bạn muốn nhìn nhận
thế nào thì cũng không thể thay đổi được
thực tế là nó liên quan rất nhiều đến cuộc
đời tôi và con đường tôi đã chọn. (p10)
4.
He knew he‟d spent almost his entire
savings on the house and would have to
find a job again soon,…
Anh biết mình đã tiêu gần hết các khoản
tiết kiệm vào ngôi nhà và sẽ sớm phải đi
tìm việc làm,… (p17)
5.
The seat had been slightly damp when
she sat down;…
Chỗ ngồi này hơi ẩm;… (p26)
6.
His years in the lumberyard had
toughened him to this type of labor, and
he worked hard.
Những năm tháng làm việc ở kho gỗ đã
khiến anh dày dạn với kiểu lao động này,
và anh rất chăm chỉ. (p37)
13

How about cutting up some vegetables
for the fryer.
Cắt ít rau nhé. (p72)
12.
He answered as he made himself
comfortable.
Anh tìm tư thế ngồi cho thoải mái. (p75)
13.
By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask,
do you still paint?
À mà em còn vẽ không? (p82)
14.
It was so unexpected, yet uplifting, and as
the words began to replay in her mind,
she realized how sorry she would have
been had she decided not to see him again.
Điều ấy thật bất ngờ, mà cũng thật khích
lệ, cô nhận ra mình sẽ hối tiếc biết bao
nếu quyết định không gặp lại anh nữa.
(p109)
15.
She had known it once before, and again
she cursed herself for forgetting
something as important as creating beauty.
Trước đây cô đã từng biết, và lại một lần
nữa cô tự mắng mình vì đã quên một việc
quan trọng như việc tạo ra cái đẹp. (p132)
16.
Her feelings this morning had confirmed
it, and she knew that whatever happened,

man alive, and I keep on feeling that way
for a long time across the table.
Tôi lại khỏe mạnh, tự hào, là người đàn
ông may mắn nhất còn sống, tôi cứ tiếp
tục cảm thấy thế một lúc lâu. (p235)
22.
„You can‟t see them?‟
„No,‟ I say, and she thinks for a moment.
(untranslated)
23.
I stand and cross the room to her bed.
Tôi đi ngang qua phòng đến giường bà.
(p239)
24.
I gently trace the outline of her cheek, then
take her hand in mine. I kiss her lips, her
cheeks, and listen as she takes a breath.
Tôi nhẹ nhàng lần tìm đường nét cằm bà
ấy, và lắng nghe khi bà ấy hít một hơi
sâu. (p267)
Example 1 is a prominent example of the translator‟s omission of the original text. The
whole two sentences have been left untranslated though they are preferred by many readers
and often quoted as their favorite. This section is at the beginning of the novel, and
supposedly, the translator might have been in a hurry and missed out the lines. This type of
blunder can also be found in examples 20 and 22. This remissness is unacceptable for a
literary translator.
In addition to leaving sentences untranslated, the translator seems to have overlooked
clauses and phrases in some other sentences. The illustration of this is observable in examples
5, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 21 and 24. In examples 5, 7, 10, 12, 13, 14, 18 and 24, clauses
of the sentences have been omission with no translation in the Vietnamese version. Especially

to maintain the format of the original version.
2.2.2. The translator’s method
People love reading Nicholas Sparks‟ books because they are simple and easy to read.
He uses language that is easily understood. Therefore, translating a Nicholas Sparks‟ work is
no hard job. This can be seen in the translated version by Petal Lê. Generally speaking, he has
stuck to the semantic translation method, making the content and language readily acceptable
and comprehensible to the readership. On the other hand, in a long work like a novel, the
complexity of word structures is inevitable; therefore, the translator surely has to combine
some methods of translation along with a chief method. Specifically, in this novel, literal
translation and faithful translation methods are also utilized.
2.2.3. The translation’s likely readership
Resembling the original, the translated version also aims at general readers who love
reading foreign literary works, especially love story and romance. From the methods and
language the translator has used, it can be suggested that the targeted readership is varied,
young and old, men and women, though usually young girls and women are those who show
more interest in finding this kind of book.
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2.3. Comparison of the translation with the original
The third part, also considered as the heart of the study, will deal with how the
translator has solved the particular problems of the SL text (Newmark, 1988:187). The
evaluator will pick out the most selective and representative examples of the accomplishments
and shortcomings of the translated version in comparison with the original text. Then, they are
grouped under general heads: the title, the structure, proper names, cultural words (Newmark,
1988:187). A discussion of translation problems will also be presented.
2.3.1. The title
In Vietnam, titles of translated novels are often determined by the editorial staff of the
publishing house. In film, potential viewers determine whether they will watch a film or not
by some sense of the film narrative which starts with film titles (Hillman, 2011:388).
Similarly, titles of novels are crucial because they are the very first things that the potential