TỔNG HỢP IELTS WRITING
BÀI KÉM VÀ MẪU THEO BAND
22/02/2016
─
Huong Mysheo
[email protected]
mysheo.com
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“Cách học viết hiệu quả nhất không phải là đọc bài mẫu
mà là nghiên cứu các bài kém
và học từ sai lầm để tự hoàn thiện bản thân.”
_ Mysheo _
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Contents
Writing Task 2
Band 3.5
Test 2: Writing Task 2 ( Cambridge 10)
Band 4
Test 1: Writing Task 2 ( Cambridge 5)
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Writing Task 2
Band 3.5
Test 2: Writing Task 2 ( Cambridge 10)
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like.
Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be
useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 3.5 score. Here is
the examiner's comment:
This response is too short at only 232 original words, so does not meet the
minimum length required for the task. It is difficult to work out what the writer is
trying to say, as his/her position is not made clear. The relevant, but problems in
the writing mean that no part of the task is adequately addressed. Although some
linking words and phrases are used, and the paragraphing looks helpful on the
page, the order of information is not coherent and the response does not progress
clearly to the end. The vocabulary is basic and the writer has only limited control
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Band 4
Test 1: Writing Task 2 ( Cambridge 5)
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every
subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4 score. Here is the
examiner's comment:
It is difficult to find the main arguments in this answer. There are long, formulaic
introductions, not many ideas that deal with the actual issues and the writer's point
of view is not consistent. The prompt is copied directly three times in the response
and the remainder is underlength at 181 words, so marks are lost for this.
The response is organised into sections, but the relationship between ideas is not
always clear and the linking expressions are sometimes inaccurate, as in the
opening paragraph, or used in a mechanical way, as in the second paragraph.
The dependence on formulaic language and the input material indicates a limited
range of vocabulary and there is a lot of repetition and inaccuracy. A range of
structures is attempted, but control is weak. Errors in grammar and punctuation are
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs
and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome
cultural differences.
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Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER.
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4 score. Here is the
examiner's comment:
This answer is considerably underlength at 186 words and it loses marks for this.
The writing tries to address the two points of view in the question, but it is so
underlength that main ideas are not developed enough. The writer expresses a point
of view, but this is not always clear for the reader.
There is a certain logic to the way the ideas are organised, and a range of logical
connectors is used. However, these connectives are often inaccurate and at times it
is difficult to understand the relationship between the points.
Control of vocabulary is weak and the errors in word form and spelling make it
hard for the reader to understand the message at times. Phrases from the question
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not
important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 4 score. Here is the
examiner's comment:
This answer expresses a position on the topic, but the ideas are not always dear
because of repetition and a lack of development (the answer is unfinished and
underlength). The information is not organised coherently and it is difficult to
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follow a progression through the answer. Although some linking devices
occur,substitution and referencing are not used, and connections between the ideas
are unclear. The range of vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and inappropriate
word choices, e.g. small country language; invest, make it difficult for the reader
to follow the meaning. There are some attempts to produce complex sentences and
some grammatical structures are produced accurately, but frequent errors and
omissions in basic sentence formation and in punctuation make the writing difficult
to understand.
I agree about this opinion.
Nowadays, several languages die cut. I think this situation is right. In the world,
university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of
whether the course is useful to an employer.
What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5 score. Here is the
examiner's comment:
This answer is less than 250 words and it does not address all parts of the
question, so it loses marks. Nevertheless, some relevant ideas and a position on the
issue are presented Ideas are organised and the structure of the answer is clearly
signalled. Paragraphing is not always logical, however. There is some good use of
linkers, but there is also a lot of repetition due to inadequate use of referencing
and substitution. The high level of repetition ['knowledge and skills' is repeated
nine times) also indicates limitations in the range of vocabulary although, apart
from language given in the rubric, there is just sufficient additional vocabulary for
the task. The answer includes attempts at complex sentence forms, but these are
generally awkwardly phrased and tend to require some rereading to understand.
Nevertheless, there are examples of accurate complex structures.
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What knowledge and skills should universities provide has been argued for many
years. Some people think that the true function of universities provide knowledge
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of
technology.
In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?
Has this become a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score. Here is
the examiner's comment:
The topic introduction has been copied from the task and is deducted from the
word count. This leaves the answer under length at 236 words, so the candidate
loses marks for this.
This answer addresses both questions, but the first is not well covered in terms of
how actual relationships have changed. Nevertheless, there is a clear opinion that
the effects have been positive and relationships have improved, with some relevant
ideas to support this. There is a general progression to the argument, with some
effective use of time markers and linkers. There is also some repetition, however.
Paragraphing is not always logical, and ideas are not always well linked. A range
of vocabulary that is relevant to the topic is used, including some precise and
natural expressions. There are quite a lot of mistakes in word form, word choice or
spelling, but these do not usually reduce understanding. A variety of sentence types
is used, but not always accurately. Errors in grammar and punctuation are
distracting at times, but only rarely cause problems for the reader.
Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of
technology.
Yes, the technology has changed the people's interaction in very enhanced manner.
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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Many museums charge for admission while others are free.
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Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums
outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
MODEL ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score. Here is
the examiner's comment:
This script is too short at only 219 words, so fails to meet the minimum word count
required by the task. However it does address all parts of the prompt, and presents
a relevant position. The main ideas are clear and developed but could be more fully
extended and supported. Information is arranged coherently and there is a clear
overall progression, with adequate use of linking words (However, also, usually,
since, but, so) and paragraphing. The vocabulary is generally adequate and
appropriate for the task (funds, maintain) and meaning is generally clear. However,
misuse of the word admission and other slight inappropriacies (doing a charity)
show a lack of precision in word choice. Many different complex structures are
used but there are still fairly frequent errors. However, these rarely impede
communication, in general grammar and punctuation are fairly well controlled.
Museums are unique places where you get to experience the history from past to
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged.
Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete
become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the
examiner's comment:
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Although the answer considers the main issues in the question, it deals much more
with the aspect of 'competition' than it does with 'cooperation'. Some of the
supporting examples are overdeveloped and divert the reader away from the
argument. However, the main points are relevant and the writer’s point of view is
generally clear.
The argument has a logical progression and there is some good use of linking
expressions, though the use of rhetorical questions to signal topic changes is not
very skilful. There are also examples of overusing markers, and of errors in
referencing.
The candidate tries to use a range of language, but there are regular errors in word
choice and word form, and this occasionally causes problems for the reader.
Similarly, a range of structures is attempted, but not always with good control of
punctuation or grammar. However, the meaning is generally clear.
Nowadays, purpose of educates being changed in Korea. There are some people
In conclusion, I strongly agree with that children should be taught to cooperate
rather than compete. Nobody is perfect. People learn together, work together to
develop each other. Therefore, I want parents and teachers to educate &Mean
concentrating on cooperation, not compete and ranking them.
Band 6.5
Test 4: Writing Task 2 ( Cambridge 8)
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of
health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be
taken to solve them?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
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SAMPLE ANSWER
This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6.5 score Here is
the examiners comment:
This script answers both parts of the task and presents a clear opinion on the
issues. There are relevant main ideas, although the supporting examples are
causes that contributes to unhealthy lifestyle. Heavy consumption can lead to
weight gain and diabeties.
I think that the main cause is the lack of exercise. As you grow older, your
metabolism rate drops. Even if you are eating the same amount as before, you will
still gain weight. The one and only solution to this is exercise. The recommended
exercise per day is at least 30 minutes of brisk walking.This target can be easily
achieved if people do not drive to work. They can take a bus or a train and drip one
stop earlier that walk to the office. Every little bit counts. When you comes home
from work, you can play with your kid or bring the dog for a walk. Anything to get
your attention away from the couch. More exercise will surpress your craving for
sugary stuffs.
People should also balance their diet. For example by eating more vegetables and
fruits eat less meat and drink plenty of water throughout the day. Organise time
with your family to take a walk outdoors to enjoy the scenes rather than cooping
yourself in the house. This is healthy living for the body, heart and the soul.It is
also less likely to fall sick if you do plenty of exercise as your body is strong
enough to fight off illness and diseases.
Band 7.5
Test 1: Writing Task 2( Cambridge 6)
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising
and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do
you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own
knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Also, on the television screen, a product may look gorgeous and good quality. As a
result of it, people often buy goods without enough consideration consumers may
not actually need it but they buy goods impulsively soon after they watch the
adivertising. Furthermore, as many customers buy a particular product due to its
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advertising campaign, the other people may be affected by the trend, even if the
product is not of the real needs of the society.
On the other hand, there are various aspects against these arguments. Moreover, it
is people’s choice to make a decision to buy goods. Advertising may be not a cause
of customer's buying habits. Individuals have their own spending habits. If they
have got enough disposable income, then the right to make a decision to given to
them. No one actually can judge whether sold are tine real needs of the society or
not
In addition, as there should, be a limited amount of disposable income consumers
are able to spend, people try to allocate their budgets. They cannot be simply
swayed by those advertisements.
In conclusion, as customers have their own strong opinions and standard of good
quality goods, it is better to leave them to make their own decision in buy goods. If
it is fairly difficult to say everyone is swayed by advertising and buy good
impulsively. However, in sensitive area of business such as toy industries, it may
be necessary to band advertising to those children as children have got enough
ability to control themselves or to know what they need.
and precise, but there are some errors and omissions. These, however, are only
minor and do not affect communication.)
MODEL ANSWER
Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debateable issue. There are
many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixed
punishments.
On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society.
Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are
convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in the first place.
This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimising
the number of crimes committed.
If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for
having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely
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arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a
high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.
On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into
consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity.
A person killing in selfdefense cannot be compared to a serial killer, moving from
one victim to the next. In my opinion an intermediary position between both
solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity.
There have to be fixed punishments for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to
provide for a minimum and a maximum for the punishment and the laws also have
to foresee certain cases of exemptions.
examiner's comment:
The answer addresses all parts of the prompt sufficiently, focusing on the benefits
for students rather than society. A number of relevant, extended and supported
ideas are used to produce a welldeveloped response to the question. However,
some ideas, for example the reference to the crime level, are not fully extended.
The ideas are logically ordered and cohesion is consistently well managed.
Paragraphing is used appropriately, and progression between paragraphs is
managed with some sophistication. A wide range of vocabulary is used to
articulate meanings precisely, with skilful use of uncommon basis, and very few
inappropriacies. The range of grammatical structures used is also wide, with only
occasional minor errors.
It has been suggested that school students should be evolved in unpaid community
services as a compulsory part of high school programmes. Most of the colleges are
already providing opportunities to gain work experience, however these are rot
compulsory. In my opinion, sending students to work community services is a
good idea as it can provide them with many lots of value skills.
Life skills are very important and by doing voluntary work student can learn how
to communicate with others and work in a team but also how to manage their time
and improve their organizational skills. Nowadays, unfortunately, teenagers do not
have many afterschool activities. Afterschool clubs are no longer that popular and
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